As my growth continues and I try to work on me I am also turned off by professionalism or lack of professionalism giving me a distrust in what is more important health or a wallet.
I was sent to this women to join her amazing awesome so I hear support groups. This was to help me with assertive training. Hey I love growth I have no problem working on myself and was very open to the idea.
My counselor sent me her info. I called her and she called me back we had a conversation where she said she has to meet up with me to assess to see if I am a good fit to her group. OK she seemed kind and had good things to say. She went on to say she will send me an email and I need to respond to it with a bit of my my history such as childhood, relationships…..
Well a day before I am suppose to meetup I didn’t get the email so I dug up her email from email communication my counselor CCed her on and emailed her asking about the details she wanted from me.
She responded right away and I sent her a bit of my history and was ready for me to meet her so she can assess if I am a good fit to her groups she runs. Her office environment was actually one of the best I have seen in the area, it reminded me of the professionalism I saw up north.
We had this fabulous meeting, she did dig deep and took notes I was pretty comfortable in her presence, I did think the meeting is pretty detailed but admired her for her passion to helping women to be all they could be. In all the communication we had before she said it was an assessment. I had no problem of the questions she asked me and felt very safe in her environment and to give detail answers about my sexual abuse, and dysfunctional marriage. She rummaged threw my life saying I am very adaptive. However in no way did I have a problem with her need to dig and talk about deep dark stuff. She asked a few times do I feel comfortable with her and I did. I truly did until the very end. I made myself vulnerable really vulnerable to her but it didn’t bother me to do so because so far had respect for her.
Then the assessment was over and she said something like “well I spend 90 minutes with you and my 90 minute rate is $180 due you have a credit card or check” – What the hell this one think took all respect I had for her and her groups. I have a counselor, it was like she was searching for a new one on one client it felt like that now she wanted money for her assessment. NEVER EVER, in any communication she said an assessment would cost something, NEVER I am saying. If I knew I would have prepared myself and made sure she took our insurance. I have to say it again IN NO WAY did she say it would cost anything for me to get assessed so I can fit in her special club of women of dysfunctional women which she probably suppresses to be dysfunctional so she gets $50 a head that I am now almost turned off to be in the presence of her and her group. As if the assessment cost was communicated and agreed to it I be totally fine going to her group and paying $50 per a meeting if she didn’t slap her $180 for an assessment only at the end of assessment by surprise. It made this counselor/therapist look dysfunctional and not trust worthy.
I presumed as a business women who has been in practice for awhile she would explain when something costs before even starting. In mechanics if you bring your car to a shop and they work on without you approving the cost they are totally in the wrong and there are laws that state this. Someone doesn’t have to pay if a mechanic shop insists on doing work on the car with out the owners approval. Well I own my own body and I did not give her approval to work on me for a charge. She didn’t tell me a cost and tell me it would cost all she said was assessment over and over before we met, that was what it was I thought not a counseling session. I thought the assessment was free since she didn’t bring up any form of compensation prior to us meeting and thought it was merely an assessment to see if she wants to take my case. She didn’t in any email or phone call prior say this assessment would cost anything. I felt really violated, raped in some way of my trust. Disgusted at what I thought was an industry I respected and now wanted to call and say screw this therapy crap I am done with all of them and can’t trust the intentions. Assess my case my ass.
I say it that way because many business such as lawyers will assess the case via phone or in person to see if they even want to take your case. After they assess your case then tell you their fees if they want to move forward. Cosmetic surgeons, dentists, mechanics, seamstresses, building contractors… so many professionals do this but why did this women therapist feel she is exempt and can work on someone when the person didn’t even hear her fee structure and only hear she is assessing me to see if I can fit into her groups. Also then she feel superior when I asserted myself to say I feel pretty hurt she expected payment for an assessment to see if if i fit in her group and didn’t at all communicate it before the assessment.
I went from completely respecting her to not trusting what she was about or any of the women in her group, or the room the group be in or the air around her. Why the world would she ask me for a credit card when she clearly heard in her meeting I don’t have one, it made me none human just a number because she must have not heard who I was in her assessment and how money is managed in our household. When I went what the hell? I internalized the pain of my shock. It really hurt I felt like I just got really duped and felt she was looking for another patient not a group member, not a human, just someone in her cattle slaughtering house.
I left walking to my car but then turned back thinking, no i am here to learn assertive training reason I came to her so walked in her office and explained to her I feel it is wrong to charge me since it was not discussed prior t coming and that she should have mentioned this in the communication. She said way to go I am being assertive explaining me this is her profession she has to charge. It went from total trust to feeling like she put me in a very vulnerable state digging into my current situation and past to now f..king me over by saying pay her.
I got in the car started to drive, I never ever get lost but kept on getting lost, tearing rolling down my face crying upset confused why would someone feel this was acceptably if lawyers, mechanics, doctors can’t do this.
How come she could gain my trust and then in a split second ruin it and not feel she did anything wrong look at me I am in the wrong for questioning her need to charge when she didn’t disclose she would. How am I suppose to trust her groups and not feel like I am in a cattle slaughtering house of give me a payment and look to keep people in a dysfunctional state so she can collect payments. I just wanted to call all the counselors off, even the good ones I felt I lost my trust for the entire system. I still now feel uneasy about her “so you owe me $180”
I cried as I tried to find my way home driving in circles even though I have a gps, missing every trun I was suppose to do, having to call my husband and tell him in tears this women is expecting payment. He was super warm and said he wasn’t happy about it and to chalk it up to miscommunication. No matter what he said and that he was OK paying her. However my chest was tight that night, the next morning and if I could I would write this women a ranging yelp review telling people to be aware of this practice, but also feel she was so oblivious to what she did and how she took me from trusting her probably referring people to her to feel I want to call her and tell her take me to small claims court before she gets paid, to saying I want her not to even consider me to be apart of her groups couldn’t trust her after that. I looked at her warmly threw the entire experience until she surprised me with a beat down to pay.
However I like to learn what makes my emotions tick and why this bothered me so much I want to explore my feelings why the hell did this truly bother me so much. Why did I feel raped and violated, dehumanized by her not saying it would cost to assess me when i heard no fee structure prior hand to meet her, to see if i can be apart of her groups and then tell me at an end of a session how much it is. I want to figure out what is behind my feeling, when I explained the story to a friend she said you are justified to be upset, so why did this therapist do this so nonchalantly.Why, Why, Why, Why, Why….. a million times over again WHY. I need to understand where knot in my chest is coming from and why it is there any time I think of her. I sorta feel like the grey cat above.
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