I have heard this talk one too many times, way too many times I just don't believe the outcome would be any different. I don't. I expect it at this point, just say it smack me in the face. It talk can be said how ever but comes down to I like you but can't. I was ripped apart when E. the doctor told me he can't. I fell apart inside but kept going. I smiled tried to belive it would happen but with someone who was right. I was ripped apart when the L the skier told me he can't. I flew back … [Read more...]

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So I dealt for years with someone not emotionally available, and I thought I did better as we got to know each other I am realizing so, are you. You act like you are emotionally available but the truth is I have no idea what your pains are what hurt you the most with your own divorce. What you cry about, what you desire the most, where you have failed, what you dislike and want angers you. You just act like every day is good. Here or there you show me a blimp or emotion but it isn't enough. … [Read more...]

I chased, oh I was available, messaged when things were silent, made small talk to keep the conversation going but I am done chasing. I gave the biggest cue today and you grabbed a bit of it and said you need to run off for lunch. However, a man who was really interested would say or gesture "yeah baby, I want that and all of it." I need to focus on myself, you can catch up to me, and maybe will give you a chance if you prove yourself, but I am not chasing. I am done hoping and I am done … [Read more...]

I was telling someone how I have this amazing connection with someone and want to take it from friendship to more. How my body is craving it. They responded "That is the hardest when we crave that intimate connection and want that validation. Wow that was it that was what I wanted, couldn't put it into words so well and what it was but yes. I want them to tell me they want me as much as I want them. I want them to make the move to push it beyond just friends. I want the validation they have … [Read more...]

Keep them safe, keep them whole, keep them joyful, keep them , just keep them safe for at least tonight that we may sleep….God forbid they should be safe forever, that just wouldnt be fair now would it? Anyone who has ever loved anyone understands the peace in knowing our beloved are safe. This realization didn't dawn on me until I had a child. Once you have a child your mind is plagued with all kinds of thoughts about what could go wrong. I won't bore you with details but we all know the power … [Read more...]