My mother who is a civil engineer and had a very impressive career, who after work she pick us up run home cook an amazing meal always from scratch, no canned food, or frozen pre-made meals, clean the house and weekends worked on the house/yard or farm. Parents were the type never hiring a maid service, gardener, painter or extra help, my mother even having time to sew us beautiful clothing before we woke up in the mornings always made me feel I am not doing enough. It wasn’t just me seeing she put high expectations on me others would comment on it and say back off.
Right from elementary school she did this and kicked it up 100 more notches in high-school that the principle spoke to her back off let her be a kid. She had this dark cloud over me that I felt followed me everywhere of I am not accomplishing enough how dare you and need to do more. At 15 when I said I am going to start a company coldly she said “I don’t want to talk about it until I see a business plan on my desk ” My response was “You are not a bank, I am not looking for a loan” thinking it be nice if she just had some encouragement versus cold attitude of wanting to see a full business plan. At 16 when I did start my first company, it wasn’t a lemonade stand but a pretty impressive marketing company that went on to be very successful and working for the major movers and shakers of the tech world. Then going on to start a few more companies that all hit successes never having to shut down due to lack of funds or miss management my mother gave me the feeling of even if I became a priminister or president of a major country she would not feel I accomplished enough. She never had to say it but it was her round about questions and demeanor did.
Well when I had my first child she admitted something that floored me. She admitted she couldn’t be a stay at home mother when we were young, it was too hard work. That she copped out and went to work when we were young because she couldn’t handle doing it. This is from a women who was one of the top Civil Engineers for our countries government and working in a field of all men who always looked like she could do it all, sew us Halloween costumes to designing a bridge in CAD calculating some crazy mathematical calculation so she can get an angle of the on ramps right. All that demeanor she put on me of you are not accomplishing enough totally went away. You can see she now has the attitude of you have your hands full and I can’t image how hard it could be to keep everything going and still have time for yourself.
It rocks to feel this from her. It makes me know I am on the right path and don’t regret staying home.